(*As a preface, the bulk of this introduction and poem was mostly written in November, but I’ve finally found time to finish it!!)
Foreword
“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” — Jack Kerouac
I watch Ms. I’s neat, typewriter handwriting glisten on the back of a photograph of my graduating class. Each of my classmates received their own unique quote, and this was mine — along with an anecdote of ourselves. Despite having graduated a mere 5 9 months ago, this quote has stuck with me ever since.
It’s as if I find the actual ‘right words’ every other day — in interviews, books, poems — still, each time, there always seems to be some subtle flaw that wrecks our resonance. Then comes September. One phrase surfaces and resurfaces and forces me to look it in the eye: “The only way out is through.” The only problem was, ‘through’ sounded too visceral, too crude for me — there had to be a better descriptor. Upon reflecting on the Mini, what it taught me, and how it’s stayed with me, only one word really comes to mind.
Lately, I’ve been musing about pieces and breakage: our motto; what keeps a country whole; the limitations of language. I prefer this framing better: the only way out is forward — however “forward” might look like for you. In fragmenting, we can only reach further into the crevices. It’s almost December March already, and my class has fragmented across the continent. Surprisingly, the Californian cold isn’t as forgiving as Vancouver’s. Like many American things, instead of stinging, it claws. Still, I’ve found sanctuary in the way of life here. Even in a country so full of urgency, Los Angeles moves at its own pace. Nevertheless, homesickness is always rearing its ugly head. Poinsettias still cling onto life in my living room, as if in protest.
As a way of saying goodbye, I wrote a little poem to encapsulate my Mini experience. I hope these words are “right” enough.
Thank you to Ms. I, for this very unprecedented journey of self-discovery. And also for calling me the “thoughtful sleepy one” in her first Mini Muse post. Thank you to all of my friends who flooded my time at PW with love.
