Lenses Extension – A Reference for Those in Grade 9 Humanities

…And I try to see.

What am I looking for? The life once there is now gone. Inside, I feel like crying again…

I am staring out into the darkness through my window. The distant stars shine brightly, as usual – everything spins in a regular way. And I feel just as little heat when I place my hand to the wall. Grusha departs tomorrow morning, before my shift starts. I will have to move onto another patient by tomorrow’s end. I will have to forget.

In my mind alone, her eyes still dance.

The room feels colder than usual. It can be hard to sleep when it gets so cold. It is important to be well rested as a surgeon. And it is also important to stay where you are, but the cold is biting at my fingers. I have felt the same ache since the surgery, an empty feeling I can’t really describe. I think of Grusha – that look on her face. Of how I cursed her to the same fate as myself. Of how I took a part of her away, one she will never get back. And that I must do it all again, leaving all this behind like a dark stain. It is too late to be crying like this. My vision blurs, tears enveloping my lenses. I wipe them away as best I can. The ache is still there, and it lingers. Really, I know why I am crying. I can’t stay here any longer.

Grusha enters my room, now. And without a second thought, I stand up and follow her out, shutting the door behind me.

We are mostly quiet in the hangar. It is an immense, damp area. The chill of outer space can be felt through metal gates. For most of our time down here, I watch Grusha. Although I cannot bear to look into her eyes, I can see that she moves with purpose, climbing around the ship, making preparations. I help where I can. There are no windows in the hangar, our only light the soft glow of the Kraceevoi. In a few hours, all these hundreds of ships will have the same soft glow and hum, and their pilots will take off towards the planet. For now, they sit in the hangar, cold and lifeless.
Grusha now beckons me in. I climb into the passenger seat and secure myself – the ship is buzzing and warm to the touch. Grusha is sitting beside me, and I can tell she is looking at me. “Are you ready?” she asks. “Yes,” I answer, staring straight ahead. With a start, the looming metal gates begin to open, revealing the terrible darkness of space. I try to stay calm.
“Look into my eyes,” says Grusha. I turn to face her, and immediately, the emotions return. I watch the gates open through the reflections of her pupils, and the darkness is haunting.
But slowly, as these metal gates open, a ray of light, and then many rays stream in. I can feel their warmth on my skin. And before I know it, the great yellow planet has revealed itself, its light like no other. I know I will see it if I turn my head, but I can’t look away from its reflection in her eyes – two golden spheres painted on her lenses. As she smiles, they glow and shine, and flash with lightning under clouds. Their hue is love and warmth embodied. I see life in them. And I know she sees the same in mine. I start to weep. In this moment, our eyes dance for the last time.

We take off.

Where we are going, we do not know. Maybe to battle, or to find a home. But we are still us. Every day, the stars and planets shine in her eyes, and as we fly across the universe, I know the light we saw that day was real.

Now, I sleep soundly, let my eyes rest. In the morning, my life awaits.